> I suppose before I begin anything I must clarify my intentions for beginning this blog, and a little insight into my life. First, I will give some background information. I am a Christian that was brought up in the church. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs and life experiences that would classify me not anywhere near as sheltered as one might assume. I’ve been around miracles where and seen people get out of wheel chairs that have been paralyzed most, if not all, of their lives. I have witnessed legs grow in excess of 3-4 inches in a matter of seconds (I’ve actually seen this more than any other miracle). I have personally prayed for people and had them receive hearing. I have watched broken, disfigured bones shift and move back into place under the power of “god”. I say this not to boast, but to give a glimpse of the type of Christianity I grew up around; it was not a powerless, dead faith by any means.
On the other side, I have also gotten into my fair share of drugs and alcohol. I’ve been arrested twice in my life, once for drugs, and recently for alcohol related offenses. I have walked away from the faith and come back. I have seen and experienced first hand the hurt and pain that a church can do to an individual as well as a family. I have seen both sides of the fence in my experiences and although my worst times may not seem so bad to some, they were still at a period in my life when I had walked away from my beliefs.
All of this come into play about a few months ago when I started really thinking about “God”. This goes further than just the questioning the “god” asserted by Christianity. My questioning has taken me to the very root of it all. I have had conversations with people on both sides and it seems that I am only satisfied with answers and truth which I can personally discover. It began when I had a conversation with an atheist extremist, he took my theistic views into question and single handedly handed my a pile of shit that used to be my “faith”. I continued having conversations with other atheists and they presented many compelling arguments for which I had no rebuttal. Thus, in my very nature, I have ceased moving forward with my faith. For you see, my composition is such that I pursue truth with every fiber of my being, which for a long time I thought was found in Christianity. With that being dismantled so many times, and me helpless to defend it, I have since ceased to seek after the once thought “lover of my soul”. In it’s place has come a longing for absolute truth and a desire to find out the purpose if any in human existence. I have been pulling facts from science, and philosophy, as well as listening to what atheists and christians alike have to say on the issue. I am not trying find evidence to support my belief system since I have left that behind. I am merely looking for what the facts say and I am willing to follow that where ever that may lead.